Being on the brink of separation can be painful and hard to face. When you think you’re at the lowest point of your relationship, suddenly it starts to hail, and the next argument with your beloved takes you even lower.
Going from argument to argument with your beloved brings up so many questions. Why did we fall in love in the first place? Why can’t we see eye-to-eye? Do we have a future together? Is this relationship salvageable?
Sometimes it seems like the easiest solution that would save you from all this stress, anger, and frustration is separation.
But there’s a part of you that holds onto hope.
You remember a time when you and your partner were living in bliss. You made each other laugh, you supported each other, and you were always trying new things together.
Why do those days when the relationship felt easy and energizing seem so far away?
It’s hard to hold onto hope when you feel like you are at rock bottom. But what if you could save the relationship from separation?
You could make each other laugh again, support the other, and try new things together.
The first step? Sitting face-to-face with your partner, both accepting that what’s currently being done isn’t working, and making a commitment to put in the work needed to save the relationship.
Try these strategies to help you save your relationship:
- Take responsibility. Both partners should be able to look at their role in the relationship. Put your defenses down and look at the role you’ve played in getting the relationship to where you are. Taking responsibility for the role you’ve played can help bring you closer to your partner.
- Create a time frame. Change doesn’t happen overnight. What time frame can you and your beloved agree upon to make changes? Set a date to revisit your relationship goals or agreements. On this day, you can sit with your beloved, talk about what’s changed, and discuss where to go next.
- Commit to the work. If you want to save your relationship, both you and your beloved need to commit to the work. The relationship is unlikely to survive if only one partner puts in the work. Tap into the work you put in at the beginning of the relationship. Prioritize the relationship and the work that needs to be done.
- Rebuild your love. Revisit how you felt at the beginning of the relationship. What did you do to show your partner you loved them? What can your partner do to make you feel loved? Start dating again and showing your partner that they matter to you.
- Check in with yourself and your partner regularly. Set aside time to check in with your partner and reflect.
- “How did you feel this past week?”
- “What do I do that makes you feel loved? How can I give you more of that?”
- “Do you feel supported? Do you feel loved?”
- “What do you need from me to feel supported and loved?”
- “What can we both do better?”
- See a professional. Consulting a couple’s therapist can help bring an unbiased perspective. Find a therapist who can support you and your beloved as you learn how to communicate and interact with each other in a new way.
Repairing your relationship will take work and patience. It’s important to be forgiving of yourself and your partner as you learn to interact with each other in new ways.
Remind yourself why you fell in love with your partner in the first place! Committing to doing the necessary work to repair your relationship can help you fall in love with your partner all over again.